I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Randomize