Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
