just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
