Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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