make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
