Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I'm really busy with my period
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