this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
