I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
