I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
