i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
