It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
