He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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