im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
