I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
