bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
