Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
