the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
