i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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