Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
