I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
