What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Randomize
