At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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