i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
