TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
