All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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