Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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