I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
