Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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