Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
