one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
