she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
