Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
