I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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