YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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