I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
