I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I just want to make out with him forever
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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