dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize