'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
