all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize