I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
