there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize