Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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