ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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