We're like a lot better than the average bears
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
