Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
