It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
