She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
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