a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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