i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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