i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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