the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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