I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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