I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Randomize
