There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Boobs are out for the taking
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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