Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
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I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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