Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
