you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
