yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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