My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
