something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
