He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
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