It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
