Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
