Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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