so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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