Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
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